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Russell Berrisford

Russell Berrisford

Russell’s support of Derby County eventually led him to leave the country. He has lived in Canada since 2007 and currently writes about soccer for The Vancouver Sun.


Appy Holidays!

Written by on December 22, 2011 | 1 Comment »
Posted in General

There is certainly plenty of soccer being played over the festive season, but for those who need just that little bit more here is a handy guide to some of the less well-known football related apps that are available to download in the coming weeks:

The “Fergie Time” App – this handy little app transforms your iPad into an exact replica of the fourth official’s board; no matter what game you are playing the state of the art interactive technology will automatically add-on time until you are winning.

The “Villas-Boas Calf Workout” app – do you find it impossible to squat for ninety minutes at a time? Fear not! After just seven days following this apps rigorous training program you will have no problem at all. After 14 days you will be able to leap despairingly into the air every time the ball approaches your goalkeeper.

The “Luis Suarez Spirit Level” app – The Liverpool striker continues to play the game despite a chronic middle-ear infection that makes it almost impossible for him to stand on his feet for any length of time. Download this app and you too will be able to recreate the sensation of dizziness that afflicts the Uruguayan on a regular basis. Laugh along as your friends think that you are drunk! (Available for both the black and the white iPad).

The “Wayne Rooney Hairstylist” app – this addictive game casts you in the role of the lovable scouser’s hairstylist and allows you to try a number of new styles on the recently hair-plugged Rooney. Warning! Choose the wrong style and the Manchester United forward will scream obscenities at you, choose the right style though and he will….well, scream obscenities at you. Fun for all the family.

The “Where’s Fernando” app – the designers of this app are offering one million dollars to the first person who can spot the Spanish striker in the this startlingly accurate recreation of his time at Chelsea.

The “instapundit” app – can’t be bothered to comment to your friends about the game you are watching? Simply download this app and it will automatically make banal and clichéd statements to save you the trouble. Endorsed and used by TV’s very own Steve McManaman! 

The “Mario Balotelli Party” app – a must have for Christmas fun. Using 5th Generation software this app uses your location to guide you to stores and places of interest so that you too can celebrate just like the Italian striker. Don’t know where the nearest fireworks shop or women’s prison is? You will if you download this!

The “Carlos Tevez Navigator” app – this multi-platform game sets you the difficult task of getting lonely Carlos nearer to his family in Buenos Aires. It may sound easy, but don’t be surprised to find that you have put him on a plane to Argentina only to discover that he arrives in Milan! One for those with plenty time on the hands.

Have fun!

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One response to “Appy Holidays!”

  1. Soccerlogical says:

    I present to you the most highly regarded manager in soccer history with more job security and board faith than Wenger, Guardiola and Fergie combined…. STEVE KEAN!

    Have we finally seen the last of Bojan Krkic.. Roma are finally finding some form and it’s no coincidence that the good run is without Bojan. Rumors persist that young Bojan will be moving to Dundee United…. along with Guardialoa?

    Merry Happy!

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